Scars From The Past
As I grew up from baby on, I have always been exposed to the notion of God in some way shape or form. Like most, once I got a taste of freedom after I moved out I ran as fast as I could from the notion of religion or God. Why is that, why do most choose to distance themselves as far away from church as they can? What would you say stops you from wanting anything do due with religion. What causes those walls in your heart to raise once the word God, bible, church, Jesus, or anything of religious nature enters those ears of yours.
Why is it that causes most people to look at the bible like it's a pyramid scene? In a sense I would have to agree with this last statement. Like many reading this I was raised in religion, we liked to knock on your doors every Saturday like clock work. Here's what drove me out, and mind you I loved my organization and it was entrenched in every aspect of my life. As I grew up I found myself always going toe to toe with my pastoral staff when it came to biblical teachings and their dogma attached to it.
I began to see one major problem with organized religion, it's all about the organization and its rules, dogma, traditions, theories, etc. It's their leaders that are put on God like pedestals, and their rules that are on top of biblical teachings. It's about power, and nothing more. In truth God and Jesus come second to religion all together. As my imperfections manifested themselves throughout my life I faced a literal tribunal which encompassed a long table, my parents, and panel of the congregations elders. They would present the sin I did and begin an array of questions in an effort to drain every nitty gritty detail to see if I was repentant or not. I would then leave, only to be called back in a presented with a sanction that could be as little as a verbal scolding, loss of a privledge, or flat out excommunication.
In order to be viewed as religiously pure I had to show traits of repentance over a certain time period. After such a time and another meeting with the elders I would be deemed “reproved” and an actual announcement would be communicated to the congregation. Crazy hey? So my salvation was judged and determined by other imperfect men that sinned just like me, and viewed their roles no different then a typical politician. The message was allegiance to the organization first while following God according to their rules. I never looked at my walk with God as a one on one thing, instead I looked at my walk with God as a chore list of items I had to continuously submit to in order to reap visual and verbal applause from my congregation and their leaders. To be honest I found worshiping God to be the most aggravating, stressful, painful experience of my life. I felt like I was never good enough, and in the end I felt spiritually abused to be honest.
This is where I think a lot of people can relate and why so many people are turned off to the notion of God and anything to do with Church. I once asked my cousin to join me at church and she wanted to, but her fear was by coming she was committing herself to an organization. I don't blame her. Before I settled down at Oak Creek Assembly of God I went through a lot of churches. I just wanted to show up, worship God a little, learn something new, and be surround by others of like mind. Instead I would sit there being bombarded by sales pitches to join their organization. I would see pastor's who ran their church more like a personal kingdom rather then a place of spiritual growth.
I was ready to give up on God. I had experienced more pain, strife, anxiety, stress, sadness, and just plain out mental abuse in the name of God then anything, and I mean anything, then I had ever experienced. Let's be honest religion has even found a way to separate Christianity itself. They read the same bible and pray to the same Jesus, and yet it's not about being a Christian...it's about being a Catholic, Baptist, Pentecostal, Lutheran, Methodist, etc. Organization first, bible second. So what changed you might ask? After all isn't this a Christian blog? Isn't this to help me come one step closer to God and some day step into a Church? You would be correct, and this is because I found religious freedom through Christ. This is what we are going to cover in part 2
